Trump Announces Temporary End to Longest Government Shutdown

Addressing the nation in the Rose Garden Friday afternoon, President Trump announced that he will temporarily end the country’s historic 35-day government shutdown, allowing over 800,000 federal workers to either return to work or finally receive their long overdue paychecks.

“We really have no choice but to build a powerful wall or steel barrier,” the President said, noting that the government shutdown will resume on February 15 if he does not receive funding for his long-awaited border wall.

In the likely event that Congress is unable to reach an agreement on border wall funding by this February deadline, however, Trump ominously vowed to utilize his emergency powers to address what he has often referred to as a national crisis.

The President then proceeded to pander to the hundreds of thousands of federal workers who haven’t received their paychecks in well over a month. Calling them “incredible patriots” and “fantastic people,” he promised all government employees that they will receive their back pay very shortly, despite using them as hostages for his border wall funding in the first place.

While Trump’s entire goal of the shutdown was to receive $5.7 billion to fulfill one of his main campaign promises, he has agreed to forgo funding for his wall for another three weeks, essentially admitting that he unnecessarily raked federal workers over the coals for 35 days just to reset the clock.

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Author: Catherine Caruso

Writer of words. Lover of dogs.

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